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After the Athens Olympics, in an old (and now defunct) blog, I ripped into Ian Thorpe…or perhaps more accurately into the Image of Ian Thorpe™. The mullet, the metrosexual bollocks, the aftershave… some poor bastard gave up his spot on the Athens Olympic team so that Ian Thorpe could race in his favourite 400m freestyle after falling into the pool during qualifiers - disqualifying him from the contest.

And he won that race given to him so generously by a bloke whose name no one remembers. And he won his fifth gold medal in that race, making him the best ever Australian athlete, the only one to win 5 Olympic gold medals. And Australia went wiiiiilllldddd, teary, proud and all Bruce McAvaney-ey.

I thought back then, and I still suspect today, that despite the success at Athens, he had a horrible realisation - he wasn’t the best. See, because although young Thorpey had managed to get himself 5 Olympic gold medals over two Olympics, this American three years his junior called Michael Phelps managed to get six Olympic gold medals in Athens alone.

That must have stung for a guy who had been made a superstar from his swimming. World’s Best Swimmer, tourism ambassador, Big In Japan and idolised by the Australian and international public. After that the media started to get nasty too, calling him chubby and a party boy (which he didn’t help counter, to be frank).

I remember when he started to get big while I was in high school. He was Australia’s favourite son, a budding doctor if he weren’t swimming. Beach blonde, good looks, rippling muscles and an all-round nice guy.

Australia had such high expectations of him.

So, today Ian Thorpe announced his retirement. I’m relieved for him. He wasn’t impressing anyone with his antics out of the pool recently. That isn’t fair, but it seems to be how Australians treat their sport stars. What Ian did out of the pool matters as much as what he did in the pool. If it wasn’t for the fact that he’s an Olympic swimmer, none of what he did in his private life would have mattered.

He must have been yet another kid with talent that was pushed into stardom by the adults around him. For a while I’m sure he thought that that’s what he wanted too, but given the backlash he’s had from wanting to have something else in his life besides swimming, he’s decided that he’s going to give it up and be normal.

Good on him.

Watching him at the press conference today, I realised he’s still just a kid. He’s actually three days older than me, but he’s just a kid. He hasn’t had a chance to do shit like me because he’s been too busy being Ian Thorpe. I’m sure one of the first things he’s going to do now that he’s retired is go to uni or go travelling around Europe. Actually live life like a 24 year old. Live life with a fair chunk of cash, admittedly, but I don’t think he’s too concerned about the money. If he wanted the money he wouldn’t have retired. He’s got a safe future ahead of him as a guest swimming commentator or motivational speaker.

Sometimes when I watch members of The Cat Empire, either at their own gigs or the side projects, I get depressed because they’re all 24-25-26-ish and so wildly successful. They’ve achieved a hell of a lot with their talent. I’ve done nowhere near as much with my life at the same age. Although, admittedly, my life kinda ground to a halt between 2002 and 2005. I’m only just starting to catch up now.

Anyway, it was kinda the same when I’d look at Thorpey. He’s my age, just three days difference, and look at what he’s achieved compared to me. He’s talented and taken that talent to the highest possible level. Now though, I kinda feel sorry for him. All he’s done is swimming and a few gratuitous non-profit gigs. He seemed like he was still 16 at that press conference today and desperately wanting to be 24.

I’m glad he’s retired. He won’t be out of the public eye forever now but he can be himself more now, rather than just a swimmer.

Good luck, Thorpey. We both have a lot of catching up to do in our lives.

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So, I saw my first ever baseball game the other day.

Tokyo Swallows v. Fukuoka Hawks. Twas surprisingly good fun. I had never watched a baseball game before and didn’t even know the rules. Luckily, I went with L and S - who’s a baseball freak (he doesn’t support either of the teams but enjoyed himself highly anyway). He tried to explain the game to me as well as he could in broken English.

The game was at Jingu Stadium (at least, I hope that’s the name) near Shibuya. We arrived quite late and missed the first 3 innings but the vibe was good as soon as we arrived.

“Alright kids, who are we barracking for?”
“Tokyo Swallows”
“Why?”
“Because I like Swallows!”
“…”
“No, really, they’re much nicer than hawks. Hawks are predatorial birds, they can hurt you!”
“…good enough for me!”
“Who are you going for?”
“Tokyo Swallows”
“Why?”
“Because I like Tokyo?”
“Sounds good!”

It took until the 7th inning until I actually felt like I knew what the hell was going on. S had brought his catcher mitt which made me a bit nervous. I don’t exactly dig being thwacked in the head by an accelerating ball of bloody hard leather. This guy had the right idea, methinks. No balls came flying our way, thankfully.

Hehe, I love live sports crowds.

The vibe was so much fun. The fans were chanting and singing and playing trumpets almost non-stop. At the start of the seventh - apparently lucky - inning, the fans for both teams released balloons just before their first batter went up to the plate.

One thing I like about the Tokyo Swallows is that they have some cool traditions. When the Swallows get a home run, or a ‘home in’ as they call it, they fans bring out these mini green umbrellas and start bobbing them up and down. Looked freaking mad! Colourful, hand-held fans came out for the 9th inning. Fun, fun vibe!

The Swallows were the home team, and the atmosphere was definitely in their favour. The giant screen would show a fancy animation for each new batter or pitcher on the field. Music pumped out and they were treated like rock stars. Big, flashy animations would come up everytime somebody got a hit, a home run, or even if they made it to second base. If something similar happened to the Hawks, you wouldn’t hear a peep. Now, I can’t say for certain, but I don’t think that “home town advantage” has that much meaning for games in Australia. Then again, it has been a damn long time since I saw a sports game live, and even then it was a tennis match.

Dang, this is kinda fun.

“(announcer speaking incomprehensible Japanese)…MIYAMOTO!”

“Yay! Miyamoto! I don’t know who you are but you have the same surname as Shigeru Miyamoto! So, go Miyamoto! Ganbatte! Fight-o!”

This random ranting amused S no end, so Miyamoto immediately became my favourite player. He scored a few hits which resulted in home runs, and I later learned that he’s the captain. Go Miyamoto, indeed. Hehe, this is kinda fun ^_^

Ooh..tension!

Ninth inning…score was tied, Swallows were batting second…2 out, bases loaded…and Miyamoto comes out to to hit the Sayounara Home-In…

…he struck out. Thrice.

Game had to to go to a tie-break tenth inning but we had to catch the last train home so we couldn’t watch it. S messaged me later that night to tell me that the Swallows had lost.

Godsdammit!

Stupid sport anyway >.<

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