Oogie Oogie Oogie!
A Rover’s Guide to Picking Up:
Step 1: Imbibe large amounts of alcohol.
Step 2: Play the poking game. During conversation, poke the target on the side at the squishy waist part. This is the softest, least painful and most ticklish part. If they poke back, this is a good sign, continue to step three.
Step 3: Poke randomly throughout the evening. You don’t need to be in constant conversation. Move around if there’s opportunity. No need to look too keen. Is there a dancefloor? Get on it. Make sure you’ve thoroughly completed Step One first, though. Just come back occassionally for a quick word and a poke. If the target is squirming and ticklish and yet still poking back, then start with the tickles. Chase them around the room tickling should the need arise.
Step 4: Offer to get them a drink. There’s a bar tab after all (or, in a camping situation like Mudbash or Surfmoot - an esky). Get them two drinks. You’ll be more successful if the target also completes Step 1.
Step 5: Dirty talk time. Jokes are good. If the target is still laughing then you’re still in. Tickles and random pokes should develop to massages and hugs and other telling body contact. If they reciprocate then odds are good.
From here on, continue with much the same until the evening is getting to the stage where people are going home/back to their tents and then ask if they want to go somewhere else/go for a walk/have some spare room in their tent because you don’t have a bed tonight.
Rovers are bloody predictable.
In a way, it’s nice to know that I’m still capable of picking up, or at least being the target of a pick up. But I’m so fed up with one night stands. I’d like a proper relationship now. I’ve been single for too long.
Apparently I’m guaranteed sex at next weekend’s Surfmoot. Hah, I wouldn’t be surprised at all. But no thanks. At any rate, if you shag a Rover, you’d better believe that everyone will know about it and gossip about it for the next two years.
Make that three years.
Oogie! Oogie! Oogie!
